Archetypes
We all have group chats that’ve gone to heaven: once thriving spaces to mingle turned to desolate wastelands of past friendship. It’s sad. It really is. At the same time, some group chats survive like a cockroach in nuclear fallout. So, why does it happen? Why do some group chats stand the test of time, while others fizzle out?
I’m confident that group chats have members that fall into different buckets. If you have the right balance of archetypes, you have a long-lasting chat on your hands; otherwise, you’ll need a dreaded the-chat-had-to-go-to-a-farm talk.
I divide archetypes into 2 categories: main roles and supporting roles. One is not better than the other. This isn’t the Oscars. You need people in main roles for a chat to last longer than a few months. You need supporting roles for a chat to win against time. And—for the pedants in the house—people can fall into multiple archetypes.
Main roles:
Planner
Organizes the events for everyone in the group: dinners, hikes, board game nights, walks (you name it). This person can handle it all. They have what the cool people call “main character” energy.
Lurker
Reads all the messages in the chat. No reactions. No replies. Nothing. Nada. The times they substantially participate should be framed in the halls of The Smithsonian. The brashest lurkers will say nothing even when being called out by others for lurking. Lurkers are leaches.
Reactor
Reacts to messages instead of being completely radio silent. The really good reactors will play around with emojis other than the default 5 that pop up.
Life-updater
Updates the group chat whenever something big happens in their life. When big things happen, they’re in the driver’s seat and the chat becomes a town hall to help them. The more catastrophic the life update, the more entertaining.
News-sharer
Shares links or summaries of interesting world events. Many times the stories they share only interest a small percentage of the group; regardless, their efforts are appreciated by all.
Happy Holidayer + Happy Birthdayer
Inactive in most cases—unless you @ them—they will wish everyone on big holidays and birthdays. They keep things festive like elves.
Antagonizer
Sends messages, ideas, or news stories with an intention of triggering someone else for fun. Their antics often lead to spirited debates. People are well aware of their pot stirring aspirations. The funnest of times.
Popular Adventurer
They will casually talk about crazy stories as if everyone does those types of things on the regular. Gnome disco parties in Brooklyn basements. Tarantula meditations. Tea with Kevin.
Supporting Roles:
Adder
Adds new people into the group. The Adder’s responsibility is immense. Adding the wrong person is like fumbling your last spoonful of dessert onto the ground.
Reads Now, Responds Later (RNRL)
Opens the chat to read a message, but, for some reason, responds hours, sometimes days, later.
Message Splitter
Splits what could be a 3 line blurb of text into 7 separate lines. Typically the fastest typer in the group.
Wall of Texter
Occasionally drops essays into the chat, ruminating on something in their life or some deeper philosophy. Typically leads to a long discussion that interests everyone at some level. Definitely a wannabe writer (cough cough).
Picture & Name Changer
Changes pictures and names to keep up-to-date with the major trends in the chat. If broader trends emerge in chat topics, changing the entire group chat’s name or icon may be warranted. Group chat name and icon alterations should be capped at 2 per year: individual name changes can be done whenever needed.
Theme Changer
Thinks they can change the entire aesthetic of the chat for everyone. Theme changes are typically met with wide disapproval, and the theme changer usually reverts the decision in shame, knowing they wasted everyone’s time.
Balance
The most successful group chats will have all of these roles covered. If yours doesn’t, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed. There are some genuinely critical roles you cannot miss on, so, if you are, you’ll need someone to fill those gaps.
The only non-negotiable role is the Planner. Without someone to pilot the chat towards events and more meaningful interaction, the chat will die. Group chats that transform into in-person interaction (video calls included because of this thing called COVID) are the sturdiest. You can only build and maintain bonds with people via text and emojis for so long.
You may be surprised that I put Lurkers, Reactors, and Happy Holidayers + Happy Birthdayers in the main role category. I do this because your group chats need weight. I’ve rarely seen chats with fewer than four people survive. By having enough people, you can drive enough engagement and life to keep things active. Ironically, even the Lurker drives interaction, when people make fun of them for not contributing anything.
Chats typically die after entering the “No Post Zone.” I define this as a period of time, before actual chat death, where it’s awkward, maybe even cringe, to send messages. If you find yourself in this zone, there’s probably a 95% chance the group chat will fall into a peaceful sleep. Planners, Life-updaters, News-sharers and Antagonizers are key to avoid this. Just avoid this altogether if you can.
A rule of thumb: if you have a Planner and at least 3 of the remaining main roles covered, you’re in good shape. Remember, I said main roles can get your group chats thriving for months, but you need supporting roles to get to years. A group chat is like an ecosystem. It’s a corner of an internet that serves as a home. It’s a nest you can leap into without thinking twice. But, for it to be a fun place to go, it needs to be flourishing over a long time horizon.
RNRL people may be annoying at first (why don’t you just respond when you read my message?!) but they’re the gatekeepers of time. They serve as time blockers that push chats to last longer. It’s a very literal way to keep chats alive, but it is highly effective. Adders can keep chats humming along with careful additions at the right times. Wall of Texters are great at sparking deeper conversations. Typically, you’ll see a big bump of interaction right after they dump something in the chat, followed by declining levels of discussion in the days after. Lastly, the Message Splitters, Picture & Name Changers, and Theme Changers provide stylistic variety. Imagine looking at giant blurbs of text every time you turn on your phone. No thanks. These people provide a subtle freshness to the daily hum drum of texting.
Another rule of thumb: having at least 1 of the following (Adder, RNRL, Wall of Texter) is ideal.
There are infinite ways to organize group chats. These are some of the patterns I’ve seen from my group chats that have survived for years. Adding or telling people to fulfill a particular role is stupid. Optimizing for certain roles is pointless too. This is meant to give you a framework to think about your groups. If you do think a particular role is lacking, try filling it yourself and see if there’s any improvement. Everyone wants to be in fun group chats, most people just lack the tools to make that happen. Hopefully, this can help.
An ingenious idea, sir!
So fun and so on point.
“the-chat-had-to-go-to-a-farm talk.” — thats was great :)