FLORIDA — An unidentified bearded man in his early 20s entered a local 24/7 Safeway around 11:15pm. Instead of filling up his cart with fresh produce, he licked all of the fruits & veggies in the open bins and refrigerated shelves. “I got off break and saw that guy licking everything…I ran to the bathroom to throw up,” an employee commented. Safeway management released a statement that they’re cooperating with local authorities to find the culprit. The police say that the motives of the “Fruit Licker” remain unknown. Disgusted locals are picking up groceries elsewhere. “Yeah, would you shop there?! I’ll just go to Whole Foods,” local Jeff Ryan said. State officials declared a state of emergency after copycats violated produce aisles across Florida.