People Who Numb My Vibe

Pet Peeves

Doth post hence yonder headline. Tax these people more:

• People who listen to an audio book and say they “read” that book

• Men with long pony tails

• People who talk about the marathon they did last year

• Cyclists in groups…no ma’am you don’t own the road

• People who nap…wake up and stop leeching from society

• People who can’t walk straight

• People with cute puppies

• Passengers who jump into the aisle as soon as the plane parks

• People who don’t have indoor voices

• LinkedIn influencers

• People who call you “bud”

• People who go on five minute tangents for simple yes/no questions

• Android die-hards

• People who make fun of someone when they’re talking about something that really excites them

• Pathological conversation one-uppers

• Pedestrians who cross the road without looking…it’ll be my fault if I run you over, dumbass

• People who don’t include me in their secret handshakes

• People who drink water out of milk jugs at the gym

• Jerry Seinfeld’s personality

• People who play music on speakers while walking down a street

• People who like durian

• The guy at work who microwaves fish

• Drivers who change lanes without signalling

• People who say getting a B+ in Chem 457 was their biggest failure

• People who say “sleep hygiene”

• Finance bros

• Travel points optimizers

• Paddle boarders

• People who scuba dived once and still tell you how life changing it was 13 years later

• People who ask “do you mean American football or football football”…we’re in Texas, Matthias, what do you think?

• Men who unbutton dress shirts too far down

• People who can’t gently close a car door